Mom Guilt.....

So I have experience momo guilt since the moment my first son was born. Wether it was guilt about not breastfeeding long enough or guilt over going back to work so soon. My life as a mother has been filled by guilt. The majority of guilt is self imposed, couldn't I be doing something (everything) better, couldn't I be doing more.

So I digress, that is not really where this post was headed. The current incarnation of my guilt manifests itself in my volunteering. I seem to volunteer for everything, even things I don't want to volunteer for. But somewhere I feel like if I am volunteering I making up for all of the wrongs (or preceived wrongs) of my motherhood. And please don't misinterpret this post as thinking that I think I am a bad mom, because frankly I kick ass. I don't do it all well but I do the best I can.

Not back to the overabundance of my volunteering. It doesn't matter if it is room mom, team mom, classroom volunteering, PTA volunteering, the football board, lacrosse, t-ball you name it and I can't keep from raising my hand. I think some of this (okay a lot of it) is for me and not even for my kids. I feel better about myself if I feel like I am doing more. If I am a martyr. How jacked up is that? I do enjoy it though. I love being team mom. I love working in Joey's classroom. Now I could deal with not being room mom, PTA just isn't doing it for me and well lacrosse never even really got started luckily.

But it all stems from guilt. Guilt that I am not doing enough for the boys. That they deserve more than I have given them. I want them to have and be anything that they want, so since I know I cannot give them everything I do everything that I can. And it frankly just gets to be to much sometimes. So I am trying to cut back. Find the things that I love and if they benefit the kids activities even better. It is time to let go of the guilt and appreciate what we have done for our kids not what we haven't.